Following the Herd

After a recent spate of Yik-Yak posts asserting that Katie Quinlan, UCC’s SU Welfare Officer has been selling drugs from her office, Quinlan herself writes in response.

“What’s all this about coke and the welfare officer??”

This is a very common thread on the infamous Yik Yak app at the minute. According to a small minority on this app, I’m UCC’s very own Pablo Escobar selling cocaine from the sanctity of the Welfare Office. This is problematic for a number of reasons, the main one being that it is entirely untrue.

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I mean, I’ve watched Narcos, it’s a lucrative business this cocaine thing. If people are going to say they bought drugs from me I would very much like to know where my cash dollar bills are. From what I have seen in popular culture, cocaine dealers enjoy quite a lavish lifestyle while I live on Koka noodles and Capri-Suns.

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Another issue I have is how I suddenly became this king pin dealer, I am painfully unaware of how one enters the drug business. I mean, do you just ring up some Mexican cartel and tell them you want in? Is there some form of CV you should submit? Do they expect some past experience? Also, I would assume you need to be someway mathematically minded and if I’m being entirely honest I have no idea what the difference is between an ounce and a gram.

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Another aspect of my new career path that baffles me is how someone asserts themselves as a dealer. Like, we all know it’s illegal so I obviously can’t hire a marketing firm to help me sell my product. How does one become the known dealer? Is there a certain attire I should have?

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All jokes aside, it really is disheartening to watch people use a social media app to spread lies and slander about you. These people aren’t making juvenile insults, they’re accusing me of a very serious crime and these same claims are completely unfounded. I’m lucky I have a very thick skin and I’m able to brush most of this off, but I can’t say the same for everyone else that’s been targeted on this horrible app. You have no idea what people are going through or what they’re dealing with so be very mindful of what you say on these apps.

You’re not brave for hiding behind an anonymous social media app. In fact, you’re the absolute antithesis. Yik Yak isn’t the problem here, it merely facilitates cowards who need to hide behind this app’s anonymity.

The only thing I’m selling is condoms and don’t let Yik Yak or anything else tell you otherwise.


2 thoughts on “Following the Herd

  1. It’s very disturbing that anything can be written about anyone without any responsibility of standing by a statement. Quinlan’s response is excellent. And if she’s reading this, how much are you charging for an eight ball? I can’t get any decent shit the last month.


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