Have you ever felt that your problem is too big (or too small) to ask anyone to help you with? We’ve all been there, and Adam Finn is at hand to provide his advice on reaching out and asking for that all-important helping hand.
I was browsing Facebook last week and I stumbled across a video that a friend of mine shared (I linked it at the end). It was by a comedian, one that exuded life and happiness, delivering his entire set with a smile on his face. The clip was titled ‘How To Be Happy’, and by watching the first few seconds, I thought to myself, this man gets it. He’s going to have a hilarious piece, and bang out a few life skills in the process. And I was wrong.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU! click this link to find out (lol jk).
This comedian, put a lot of things into perspective. His first point starts on us coming into the world, and when we do enter this world, we do so helpless. From the second we are born we need help, and we need this help to survive. We are being looked after from the moment we enter the world, and in most cases, we are looked after in our final moments. Whether that’s dying from an illness in hospital, from old age in a nursing home, or if you spend your last moments with people or paramedics trying to help you after an accident, people want to help, and we generally accept that help.
Unfortunately, somewhere in the middle ground, that want to give, receive, and even ask for help is something that is lost amidst our key instincts. Is it pride? Is it not wanting to seem weak? Or is it that we are scared of the rejection? A lot of the time, the only scenarios we will ask for help in are ones of sheer duress and hopelessness, and even in those times we seem reluctant to ask for it.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. We receive help everyday, although we are not aware of it. From even the smallest gesture of holding a door for someone to help and ease their transition from one location to the next, if it’s a parent cooking you dinner, it seems like they’re only feeding you but they’re helping you. They’re helping you survive, they’re helping you get from one day to the next. They’re helping you exist.
Sometimes there is the need to ask for help, help may not always stretch out its hand and present itself to you. Other times it will be given to you and you won’t even be aware of it. Helping people is a phenomenal thing for a person to do. Even the smallest of deeds can make a big difference to someone’s life. You are helping someone get through their day, through their life, and you are making a difference.
As I write this post, one of the girls in my whatsapp group ran into a bit of trouble with finding a place to print a poster for her 9am lecture, and everyone offered as much help as they could give. Recommending places that may print at night, offering their family’s business’ printer, offering to run into town for the person in the morning. And if I’m going to be honest, I loved watching it unveil and doing my bit to help out. It gives you great satisfaction, and when you are on the other end of a helping hand the warm feeling of gratification is one that is unmatched.
It’s all well and good to be able to ask for help when it’s mere favours or a small gesture like asking someone for a spare pen during a lecture or borrowing your friends phone to ring your parents, but there’s times when you truly need help, when you need help more than ever and we are afraid to ask for it. Whether it’s when you’re struggling with a topic in a lecture and you are reluctant to ask for help and for someone to explain it to you in fear of being perceived as stupid. Well, don’t be. We are human. We have our flaws. We can not possibly know everything. And if you ask for help, it is there to be given. people are nice, and in college if you think that everyone in the rooms knows what’s going on all the time then you are wrong. That person you ask for help today, may be the person asking you to explain a topic and help them get through their course in 3 lectures time. So don’t be afraid to ask for help, we are human beings, and it’s generally in our innate characteristic to be kind.
No matter what help you ask for, it is still only help you are asking for. No matter how big or small the item you need help with, it still will always only be help that you seek. Do not be embarrassed to ask for it, everyone needs it, everyone needs to give it. It is part of life to give help. It is a sign of strength to ask for help so never be afraid to do so.
After all this talk of help. I’m going to give you a few quick points that’ll hopefully help you live a happy life.
Point one is do what makes you happy, what you enjoy, what you love. Regardless of what people think of it, the first person and the most important person to please and keep happy is you. People may not always have the same love or passion as you for an activity, they may even hate it, but they are not you, so don’t let other determine what you do to make you happy, as it is you that you are aiming to make happy.
Point two is don’t focus on what you’ve missed out on, focus on what you have done. It will let you have a clearer mind and more self satisfaction. Going into exams we always get nervous by focusing on the topics we haven’t covered, but we don’t put enough emphasis on what he have done, what we have studied, what we have achieved. Even if it’s a night out, you’ll hear about the best part of someone’s night and you weren’t there and you regret not being there. That person may not have been around for your best part of the night and they could be gutted they missed your best part. So focus on what you did, the highlights, there’s only so much you can experience in your life, so be happy and remember what you have achieved and experienced, because in the end you cannot change what has happened in the past.
Last point, be you. There’s over 7 billion people in the world, but only one you. Even if you have an identical twin, you have a different name, different experiences, and there’ll never be another you in the world. So embrace being you and all your quirkiness, because you know what?
You deserve an award for being you!